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But…you’re not a mom?

Updated: Feb 20, 2023



“How can you be a doula and you’re not a mom?”


That’s right, I do not have children, yet I am a (pretty dope 😉) birth doula. I support mothers throughout their childbirth journey, even though I have not experienced childbirth.

And you know who else hasn’t? The male ob-gyn delivering the baby, that has never given birth. The men who can vote to control women’s reproductive health, that have never given birth (oop, that’s for another day 🤭).


Does not having children make me any less of a doula? Absolutely not!! And in fact, I think that there are benefits:

  • I do not need to worry about securing childcare during times I am on call and need to get to a birth.

  • I do not hold any biases based on my own personal experience/opinion of birth.

I can confidently say, I will acknowledge and be aware of my limitations and if I do not know something, I am humble enough to find the answer or bring in someone who can serve as a resource.


But if I can be honest…I was not always so confident about leaping into the birthwork field, as a non-mother. Have ya’ll heard of imposter syndrome? (Imposter syndrome = doubting your abilities, skills, or accomplishments). Well, I had imposter syndrome for sure! And of course, the enemy would try to put those thoughts of doubt in my head right before I led a mother’s peer group, right before I spoke on the topic, or even right before I went into a birth. But I was right where I was supposed to be, doing what I was supposed to do. [Here’s a little nugget- once you learn to sit in God’s will, you will experience the freedom to be all God ever created you to be.]


Thank you to all the people who gave me even the smallest bits of encouragement or affirmation, that I am doing exactly what I am supposed to be doing 😊. From “You are so fitting for doing that”, “You are so calm and reassuring”, “I couldn’t have done it without you”, etc…all your words mattered.


Closing Thoughts:

I am resting in security that with each birth I am becoming, I am learning, I am growing. I may not do this thing called birthwork like everybody else, but I do it in the way that I am called and created to do it 💗


Peace + Blessings,


Sharde’


P.S. **Black women should NOT be 3xs more likely to die in childbirth than white women in America...we 👏🏾 need 👏🏾 to👏🏾 do👏🏾better.

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3 Comments


LeTasha Peebles
LeTasha Peebles
Nov 03, 2022

Well said!! You are definitely right where God has called you to be and can’t wait to have you as my dope doula!

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Rama Hoskins
Rama Hoskins
Nov 03, 2022

This is well said Sharde’. And yes this is you. You have such a calming spirit that goes right along with what you do.

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This is amazing and 100% correct! I am not a mother yet either and you hit every point. Great job keep up the amazing work. God bless.

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