But…you’re not a mom?
Updated: Feb 20
“How can you be a doula and you’re not a mom?”
That’s right, I do not have children, yet I am a (pretty dope 😉) birth doula. I support mothers throughout their childbirth journey, even though I have not experienced childbirth.
And you know who else hasn’t? The male ob-gyn delivering the baby, that has never given birth. The men who can vote to control women’s reproductive health, that have never given birth (oop, that’s for another day 🤭).
Does not having children make me any less of a doula? Absolutely not!! And in fact, I think that there are benefits:
I do not need to worry about securing childcare during times I am on call and need to get to a birth.
I do not hold any biases based on my own personal experience/opinion of birth.
I can confidently say, I will acknowledge and be aware of my limitations and if I do not know something, I am humble enough to find the answer or bring in someone who can serve as a resource.
But if I can be honest…I was not always so confident about leaping into the birthwork field, as a non-mother. Have ya’ll heard of imposter syndrome? (Imposter syndrome = doubting your abilities, skills, or accomplishments). Well, I had imposter syndrome for sure! And of course, the enemy would try to put those thoughts of doubt in my head right before I led a mother’s peer group, right before I spoke on the topic, or even right before I went into a birth. But I was right where I was supposed to be, doing what I was supposed to do. [Here’s a little nugget- once you learn to sit in God’s will, you will experience the freedom to be all God ever created you to be.]
Thank you to all the people who gave me even the smallest bits of encouragement or affirmation, that I am doing exactly what I am supposed to be doing 😊. From “You are so fitting for doing that”, “You are so calm and reassuring”, “I couldn’t have done it without you”, etc…all your words mattered.
I am resting in security that with each birth I am becoming, I am learning, I am growing. I may not do this thing called birthwork like everybody else, but I do it in the way that I am called and created to do it 💗
Peace + Blessings,
P.S. **Black women should NOT be 3xs more likely to die in childbirth than white women in America...we 👏🏾 need 👏🏾 to👏🏾 do👏🏾better.